Monday, January 31, 2011

Ever feel like a failure?

I do. a lot.
Recently, I succumbed to self pity as I allowed my focus to shift toward my many failures. Parenting, marriage, friendships, evangelism, keeping home--all contexts where I am painfully aware of my inadequacies.

Yet, with the help of God's Spirit, I picked up something good for my soul and began to read, allowing it to sink in and shift my focus.

The following are quotes from "The Gospel Primer".

The section I read from was entitled "Liberation from self love". "Self love? I thought we were talking about self pity," you might be thinking. Well, self pity is really just an inverted form of self love and so these thoughts were indeed most helpful.

One of the leading causes of my natural tendency to self love is fear--I fear that if I do not love myself there would be no one to love me quite so well as I do.

...the gospel assures me that the love of God is infinitely superior to any love that I could ever give to myself. 'Greater love has no one than this.'

His astonishing love for me renders self absorption moot and frees me up to move on to causes and interests far greater than myself.

Preaching the gospel to myself everday reminds me of God's astounding love for me and also of His infinite worthiness to be loved by me above all else.

John 15: 13
Greater love has no one than this that one lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 8:32
He who did not spare His own Son but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

II Corinthians 5:14,15
For the love of Christ controls us having concluded this that one died for all, therefore all died and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

Philippians 3:7,8
But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things in the heavens and things on the earth.

An addition to this post, a poem from John Piper:

With mercy make me free

O Jesus, take my bent away
For thinking much of me,
And kill my pride, and from this day
With mercy make me free.

O Jesus, grant the gift to see
The treasure that you are,
And as the night eclipses me,
O be my Morning Star.

And now if I should serve, or lead,
Or give, or mercy show,
O Jesus, let my love be freed,
And like a river flow.

O Jesus, be the treasure of
My heart and all I do,
And may the river of my love
Alone make much of you.

— John Piper"Using Our Gifts in Proportion to Our Faith, Part 2"(Minneapolis, Minn.: Desiring God Ministries, Nov. 7, 2004)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Why He Answers Prayers

Last week, Judah saw his opthamologist at Hopkins, Dr. Jampel, who has always done his exams on Judah in the OR which, of course, requires anesthesia. However, at the visit before this more recent one, Dr. Jampel said that he acquired a new tool that he thought Judah would tolerate him using in the office. So, we scheduled an office visit rather than what we have done for the last 6 years, an EUA (evaluation under anesthesia).

Judah did indeed tolerate the new "tonometer" which didn't require any numbing drops! He still had a gun shaped object tapping on his eyeball, but hey, no numbing drops! So, I guess that worked for Judah. Whatever. I was happy and so was Judah not to have to endure anesthesia.

Checking for infection in Judah's eyes is always a part of Dr. Jampel's exam because Judah had a type of glaucoma surgery in the 2nd year of his life that is prone to infection. After Dr. Jampel determined that all looked good, and Judah's eyes were "quiet and stable", he communicated that the kind of surgery Judah had as a toddler doesn't typically work for the SWS kids, so much so that Dr. Jampel doesn't even do it! Dr. Jampel further remarked that the doctor who did Judah's surgery must have had the "Midas touch".

I have a bit of a different opinion about this.

You see, from the day Judah was born and we learned of his Sturge Weber and all that this syndrome entails for many children, we have been praying along with many, many others to a God who listens to and answers our prayers. He doesn't always answer according to our will, but He always answers according to our good.

Because I trust in Jesus who shed His blood for all my sin, I can now gain an audience with the Creator God anytime over anything, and He will listen to my prayer! Had Jesus not come and taken the punishment of God that I deserved for my sins, I would pray to a God who would not and could not listen to my prayers. Maybe I would still pray to make myself feel better, but my prayers would be in vain.

I'm grateful that my prayers and the prayers of others on Judah's behalf are not in vain. They are directed to the One who created Judah, who sustains Judah and who will answer our prayers on Judah's behalf with mercy.

Judah has baffled his doctors on more than one occasion, but we are not baffled. We know the One who established the natural order of things and who can also supersede that order should He choose. We want to humbly receive all the answers God gives us to our prayers on Judah's behalf even when they are "No; I'm not going to sustain or heal in the ways you are asking," trusting that He who did not spare His only Son but gave Him up for us will graciously give us all that we really need! (Romans 8:32)

*For 2 excellent posts on prayer, visit The Blazing Center here:
and here

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

On Neumann Pond

Sunday and Monday, we took some time to enjoy the blessing of our cold, winter weather by playing around on some friends' frozen pond. We met up with a plethora of other families to enjoy this winter treat.



Thank you, Neumanns, for being among the most generous, fun, loving friends we know! We love you.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Gospel Centered Moments

My 2nd born (by two minutes), Tucker, has been having a flare of his reflux the past two weeks. He's been treated with Prevacid for more than a year now, and that has worked well to keep the reflux under control. However, soon after Christmas, he began complaining of pain in his throat again. It flared quickly as it will, and we have now increased his dose of medicine and prayerfully may need to add another medication to get it under better control.

It's been difficult to watch my son in pain. He becomes anxious about eating because he knows it'll cause pain. When he does eat, he's only able to eat little bits of food at a time. As a momma, it's hard to watch. Something in every mom just wants to be able to, at bare minimum, feed her babies.

Together, Lawrence and I pray for wisdom, talk about how to best care for our son and seek to both encourage him and lead him through this trial. One "plan of attack" that my husband recently encouraged me to take with Tucker was two fold:
  • provide a lot of reassuring touches. Draw near to Tucker physically, hugging, patting his back, rubbing his back which he loves, etc.
  • teach Tucker and remind him often that while he is indeed suffering, he is not suffering to the full extent that he deserves.
WHAT?

I know some may say, "What kind of parents are you? How is that supposed to encourage your son?"

Here's how. Tucker and all of us were created by a Holy Creator God who requires and expects perfect holiness from His creation. We obviously do not live up to that expectation. In fact, we fall short, woefully short of perfection everyday, some of us (me) many, many times a day. The Bible calls that sin. My beautiful children are sinners. I am a sinner. I have not met the demands of God's law. For this, we all deserve God's wrath to be poured out on us. We all deserve to pay the penalty for our sin.

But, God, who is rich in mercy and love toward His creation, sent a Savior, His Son, Jesus who came to earth in human form yet fully God. He lived a perfect life and died an unjust death on our behalf to pay with His own blood a ransom for our sins. HE took the punishment that we deserved so that we could know God's mercy, so that we could experience just forgiveness from God and have eternal fellowship with Him here on earth and one day in Heaven.

So, in light of these truths, we know that while Tucker is suffering with his reflux, he is not suffering as much as he deserves. We know and we tell our children the truth that any suffering we experience here on earth is pale in comparison to the suffering of the punishment of hell that we deserve for our sins. This may sound too deep or ethereal, but it is true hope and peace for those who are willing to embrace it.

We pray daily that our children will embrace these truths. God is providing an opportunity for Tucker to know of His mercy through suffering. It's painful to watch Tucker endure the pains of reflux, but as parents we are grateful for the opportunity it affords for us to point him to the truth: that he is being mercifully treated better than he deserves.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Close your eyes and imagine

Tonight, as I brushed the kids teeth, I noticed Tucker was waiting to be brushed with his eyes closed.
When I asked why he was standing there with his eyes closed, he responded, "I'm imagining that I'm at Grandma's. I love Grandma's; I miss her."


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Around the breakfast table

A topic of discussion in our home rather frequently is the nutritional value or lack thereof in certain foods or long lists of ingredients passed off as food.

In our home, we are trying to avoid some specific, common ingredients for the sake of our health, especially for my boys who have always had allergies, excema and asthma.

This morning, Judah implored me to buy the grape jelly from Aldi's rather than the "small jar" I usually buy. (That would be the Polaner brand which contains no high fructose corn syrup). I explained to him why I choose what I choose for them to which Tucker replied, "Many things that are not good for us taste really good."

I nodded my head. What could I say? It's true.
After a moment to think, I tried to encourage them that after eating real food for a length of time, our tastes begin to change and we'll start to prefer "real food" over foods that are composed of many chemicals. Sounds good, doesn't it?

Tucker's apt reply, "But we like the taste of chemicals."

And so, the battle continues. :)

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Three dates all in one day

Yesterday, I had the privilege of taking my three kiddos out on momma/kid dates, or they might say they took me out on a date. ;)
Either way, I had such an enjoyable time spending one on one time with each of my children.

Judah and I went out first to Pizza Hut where he redeemed one of his book it coupons for a personal pan pizza. I sought to commend Judah for the ways I see him growing in maturity, taking initiative each morning to get himself dressed and his bed made without having to be told. Many mornings he also completes his morning chores with no reminding.

When asked how I might become a better momma, he said that he'd like to see me where a certain dress more often. I found that rather odd but endearing. Hey, I can do that! I was bracing myself for something a bit more convicting, like not speaking so harshly to them as often as I do.

Date #2: Tucker and I went to Barnes & Noble where I ordered a strawberry cream for him to try. He was reluctant to order anything because he's been having a hard time with his reflux lately, and he was especially nervous about experiencing pain while away from home. But, this was a date, and I really wanted him to try this drink because I knew he would enjoy it. He did! Later that evening, Tucker was telling Lawrence about how he had a few sips of mommy's drink only to later confess to Lawrence the truth that he actually drank a lot of it. :) Guess he liked it.

Unfortunately, after reading two Berenstain Bears books (what is it with those books that my boys love them so?), Tucker started feeling the pangs of reflux in his throat and asked to be taken home. While my date with him was cut a little shorter than I had hoped it would be, I nevertheless had a most enjoyable time with my sweet 2nd born!

Last but most certainly NOT least, my girlie and I went to BJ's. Yes, BJ's. Do you know how inexpensive their snack bar items are? Bella chose a soft pretzel and blue slurpie. Though my girlie likes to do almost everything I do and mimics me in many things, I couldn't get her to enjoy eating her pretzel with mustard which is how I like it. :)

My generous girlie allowed me to share her pretzel with her which I gulped down with much too much diet pepsi. The multi-tasker that I am, I ran through the store to pick up some groceries I needed and since I only had one child with me, I took the opportunity to do a little "window shopping". As we strolled down one aisle, I spotted a white vanity with a pink cloth seat to go with it. No sooner had I thought, "Bella would probably love this" that she said, "Mom, can I have that?" I told her that it was called a vanity to which she replied, "Yes, it's a princess vanity."

My little girl loves to look at herself in the mirror, loves to look pretty and loves to have others comment on how she looks pretty. I'm hopeful this is simply a stage or a reflection that the girl has a great self image in place but one that will hopefully be tempered a bit with some humility down the road.

While we were at BJ's, a man noticed Bella and commented that she was adorable. Bella asked why the man said that about her. My response was to tell Bella that God blessed her with a beautiful face. I trust that one day she will indeed know and bow to the Giver of all good gifts!

What a blessing to have these special times with my three buddies.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Goals for 2011

I thought it might serve me in the long run to post some of my goals for this next year. Something written in black and white for all to see and for myself to be reminded.

Taking some cues from this helpful guide: http://simplemom.net/new-years-resolutions-2011/, I will share a few of the "stars" I'm shootin' for this year.

Personal Growth:
  • continue canning/freezing/preserving fresh produce as it makes its way to me. I tried my hand at salsa and tomato soup this summer. It was A LOT OF WORK! But, I decided after my 2nd bowl of tomato soup that I think it's worth it. I just can't go back to condensed tomato soup.
  • Read "Food Matters"; Watch "King Corn" and other documentaries that will encourage conscientious, healthful eating habits in our home
Physical Health:
  • continue regimen at the Y and if my back allows me, begin training in May for a fall racing schedule.
  • Move away from refined sugars. I'm not eliminating sugar. We just like it too much and I'm too serious about many other things. So, we're eating sugar here...I'm just going to begin purchasing Sucanat and using Agave Nectar, Honey as substitutes for good ol' white sugar.
  • Eat less cheese. Might sound funny, but we eat A LOT of cheese. Cheese and chocolate. ;) We could get by fine with a little less. My hubby has high cholesterol and my son has reflux/excema/asthma. I want to see if cutting back on our dairy intake may help all of us.
  • Eliminate/Avoid all foods/drink with artificial colors/flavors in it. Again, this is mostly a push for my son who suffers from excema, but I think it'll be good for all of us.
Marriage & Family Life:
  • Be nice to my hubby. Some days it's really as simple as that. I just need someone (my mom would suffice) to stop me in my tracks at times and say, "Briana, be nice!" I speak too frankly, abruptly to him. It's really disrespect and I want to grow in this area!
  • I also want to make more of an effort to have treats around the house that my hubby enjoys like peanut butter cookies.
  • Show honor to my extended family (mom/dad/siblings) by acknowledging their birthdays and anniversaries.
Money Matters:
  • I'm putting myself on a "spending freeze" of sorts, challenging myself not to buy anything that isn't absolutely necessary. Defining what's necessary is going to be the challenge.
What are some of your aspirations for 2011?

Friday, December 31, 2010

A New Year's Eve recap of 2010

Since my hubby fell asleep on the couch early this New Year's Eve, I'll take some time to recap some of the highlights of our 2010.
  • started leading a new caregroup from church, a group of folks who we have come to love. We are blessed by our times together and encouraged by how we see God at work in each other's lives.
  • special days or times away as a couple and/or family: trip to Annapolis for Lawrence and me pre-busy season, our family day at the beach post busy season, trips to PA and WV to spend vacation time visiting with family and friends
  • hikes with the kids were especially fun for us this fall. We hit trails at Jerusalem Mill, Anita C.Leight Estuary, Ma/Pa, Susquehanna State Park, Rock State Park, and Eden Mill.
  • With the help of our friend, Jeff Cole, we installed laminate flooring in our living room, something I've been wanting to do for a long time. We also purchased some new living room furniture and re-arranged our basement a bit to accomodate an at home "school room".
  • Judah and Tucker graduated from Kindergarten!
  • We also began homeschooling Judah and Tucker for first grade this past fall.
  • I came upon two blogs this year that have been a source of encouragement and practical help to me: http://www.aholyexperience.com/ and http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/
  • I have made some changes to how we eat as a family and our sources of food based upon the influence of this documentary: http://www.hulu.com/watch/67878/the-future-of-food and the book, "Real Food" by Nina Planck (http://www.amazon.com/Real-Food-What-Eat-Why/dp/1596913428/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293848336&sr=1-1))
  • We also discussed some paradigm shifts in our thinking about finances and some of our goals in that area of life based on the book, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki: http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Money-That-Middle/dp/0446677450
  • We were given the privilege of walking through others' trials and hardships, helping to bear one another's burdens through prayer, and extending comfort and encouragement as God directed us. We've been on the other side of it so many times; it is a true blessing and honor for God to give us opportunities to walk with others through their hard times.
Don't know what 2011 will hold for us, but I'm confident that the God who has brought us "safe thus far" will lead us safely all the way Home. (http://www.constitution.org/col/amazing_grace.htm

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A Little Bit of Christmas

If you're not tired of all things Christmas yet, feel free to take a look at some of the snapshots from our last month of celebrating!

I like to take pictures of how I decorate so that I have something to look at next year when I've forgotten how I did it! :)




We're a part of a homeschool co op that meets once a week. Here are a few shots of a Christmas presentation put on by all the children who participate in the co op along with some pictures of what our everyday life in December looks like at home...



On Christmas Eve, we had the special privilege of having two of our favorite buddies come to stay with us all day while their momma delivered baby #3!! WE love you, Grigers!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Chocolate Crunch

Here's something we made today, and it's delish! A little something different than the typical Christmas cookie this time of year...

Chocolate Crunch:
3 c. regular oats
1 cup Rice Krispies
1/2 c. packed brown sugar
1/3 c. chopped pecans
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 c. honey
2 Tblsp canola oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 oz. bittersweet chocolate (60 or 70% cocoa), finely chopped
1/2 c. dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
Cover jelly roll pan with parchment paper.Coat paper with cooking spray.
Combine first 6 ingredients in large bowl.
Combine honey & oil in saucepan until warm (abt 2 min.).
Remove from heat. Add vanilla & chocolate; stir until smooth. Pour chocolate mixture over oat mixture and stir until evenly coated. Spread onto pan. Bake at 300 degrees for 20 min, stirring after 10 min. Cool completely.Stir in cranberries.
Serve over yogurt, fresh fruit, ice cream or eat it alone.
Store in an airtight container for up to one week, or freeze for up to one month.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Ladies Christmas Breakfast, 2010

I'm consistently amazed by the creativity the ladies of our church show in putting together beautiful tablescapes for our annual Ladies' Christmas Breakfast. In typical fashion, I sneak into the sanctuary for an early glimpse at all the finished tables, deciding what elements I love about each one, and I choose my personal favorite. My tastes lean toward a more rustic look with natural elements; hence, my favorite typically portrays those things. This year is no different.

Convincing me further that this table would be my favorite is the fact that its creators were two women relatively new to our church, one of whom has been in our church less than a year. Both are military wives. Why is this significant? I have so much respect and affection for these women.

In addition to willingly yoking themselves to a man who serves our country in the causes of freedom, sometimes having to be without their husbands for lengths of time AND often moving around the country, even the world, every other year or so, my experience has been that military wives just jump into life and friendship. And so it has been with these women.

Donna and Mary, thank you for spurring me on in so many ways. And, thanks for jumping into our church life by decorating a table this year. I loved it! In fact, it was my favorite!

And, here is a slideshow of a number of other tables I found delightful.

The best way to appreciate these pictures is to click on the slideshow to see larger pictures.

Monday, November 29, 2010

3 "merries"

Today Judah clarified for us that there are three merries:

"The merry as in 'Merry Christmas', the marry as in I'm gonna kiss you and the Mary as in Jesus' mother."

Just thought ya'll should know.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Trunk or Treat, 2010

Our church hosted a Trunk or Treat for the community. Many of the caregroups within our church put together a themed car, even donning costumes to go along with the theme. Our caregroup chose to do the Lego theme. The physical and mental collaboration was a bonding experience for sure.

Other themes included the Amazon, camping, Disney princesses, music through the decades, Pokemon, Toy Story, Alice in Wonderland, a farm complete with live goats and chickens and my personal favorite, a science oriented one. I think I liked this one the most on behalf of my academically inclined boys. Right now, Tucker especially is really into tornadoes. He wants to read books about tornadoes, watch Youtube videos about tornadoes, draw tornadoes. He even calls Bugles (the popular chip like snack) a tornado snack. :) The science crew had something at their spot that created a miniature tornado in a soda bottle. It was rather cool.

So, here is a slideshow from our evening. I didn't ask permission from everyone of whom I took pictures if I could post it online. So, if you happen to view these photos, are in them and don't want to be, please let me know. I'll be sure to take the photo offline.



Saturday, October 30, 2010

Fall Family Fun

Apart from the days growing shorter, I LOVE the fall. I love the leaves turning colors. I love pulling out hoodie sweatshirts and jeans after having to bear my flesh all summer in shorts and tank tops. I love fall food: apples, pumpkins, sweet potatoes and all things smothered in cinnamon. I love the crisp air, the leaf "storms" as the winds change. I love football, especially when the Steelers play. And, most of all I LOVE taking hikes with my family.

With all the pests that normally irritate and ruin a hike gone for the season, a hike in the crisp, autumn air does wonders for my pysche. Before our kids were even born, Lawrence and I would often take any free time we had to hike and/or run together. We'd talk then about one day making it a hallmark of our family time. And, now we're doing it. I'm grateful that my hubby's made a point of getting us all out of the house the last several weekends to enjoy a fall hike together.

Click on the slideshow below to enjoy some pictures I captured from this weekend's hike.
*There are also pictures from pumpkin carving Lawrence did with the kids, a day in the life of homeschool at the Almengor's and our caregroup preparing for an upcoming outreach event at our church called, "Trunk or Treat". Enjoy.


Sunday, October 10, 2010

My little runners

Bel Air parks and rec. holds a racing series for children up to age 12 every fall. The boys participated in the "under 5" category last year, and this year, all three of my kiddos ran. Bella, age 3, ran 1/4 mile! The boys were bumped up this year to the "under 12" category and ran 1/2 mile!

Bella cried and walked the entire 1/4 mile. But, she finished. And, I commended her like crazy. We put her in the race because she runs all the time at home and is fast. We really thought she'd enjoy it and do well. What were we thinking?! :) Nevertheless, we want to instill in our kids that non participation is really not an option once we've committed to doing something. And, our kids need a little coaxing at times. It's a 3 race series, so I'm hoping Bella will figure out this is fun and possibly get "most improved" by the end of the series.

Lawrence ran with the boys for their 1/2 mile, and while they came in last and second to last place, they ran the entire thing. Again, I commended them like crazy. I was so proud of their good attitudes and perseverance. A far cry from how they did last year. I believe I even heard, "That was fun" come out of one of their mouths. :)

attentively listening to instructions

at the start line


almost to the finish!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Autumnal Happiness

2010-09 Fall Decor
Click on picture to see the album.

Between trying to update our living room with new flooring (done), paint, pick out new furniture and fixtures, and embarking on the homeschool adventure, my home has been a bit neglected. I live in a perpetual mess. Kinda makes it hard to decorate. But, I adore the fall; it is my favorite time to bring the outside in. So, on one of my mental health trips recently to my Amish farmer friend in PA, I stopped by several Amish farms and gathered a few signs of autumn to provide spots of beauty for my eyes to rest in my perpetually messy home. I took close ups so you couldn't see the mess surrounding all my little spots of beauty. At least now, when I can't take tripping over one more barbie doll or pushing old end tables out of the way one more time, I stop to gaze upon these little treasures. It does my heart good.

Monday, September 20, 2010

A couple recipes

Our caregroup met for dinner this past Saturday, and I was blessed to have hosted. I served 3 different kinds of calzones, all made with a whole wheat pizza dough inexpensively purchased at Shop Rite! *You can get dough balls 10 for $10 at Shop Rite when they run their sale. Otherwise, they're still only $1.79 which simply doesn't make it worthwhile to make my own!

I was asked for two of the calzone recipes along with the spices I use to make my own ground turkey sausage that goes into one of the calzones. So, I am posting it all here in case others may want to benefit.

First, I do take the time to make my own turkey sausage. It's really, really easy. Granted, I don't roll it into little links, but if you simply want ground up sausage, this is a great alternative to buying it in the store. I like it because I know exactly what's going into the sausage, and I can use ground turkey which typically has less fat than any sausage I could buy otherwise. So, here's the link to the recipe I use and have found to my liking.

*This recipe was found at recipezaar and the following is a note preceeding the recipe:
"A dry herb blend for giving any ground meat a "sausage" flavoring. Try this not only with ground pork, but also ground turkey, beef, or chicken. Adapted from a recipe that came with one of my pizza pans. Recipe can be doubled, tripled, etc as needed. Each batch is enough to season 1 pound of meat. Leave out the crushed red pepper flakes for milder sausage."

Yields: 3 Tbsp

Ingredients

Directions

  1. Blend all ingredients together in a spice grinder or mini-food processor (or you may also just stir together if you like some chunkier bits of fennel in your sausage).
  2. Store in an airtight container until ready to use.
  3. To use, mix with 1 pound ground meat.
  4. Chill seasoned meat 3 hours before using.
  5. Or you may also use this in any recipe calling for sausage seasoning.

Tex-Mex Calzones (a Cooking Light recipe)

Go Green Giant Calzone (a Rachael Ray recipe)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

After

Here's what my hubby accomplished today with a dear friend, Jeff Cole's help:








There's still caulking to be done on the trim, walls/ceiling to be painted, furniture to be bought and placed, and new, little accents added here and there to bring the room together (This is NOT "Extreme Home Makeover"), but I am thrilled to have new floors!!!