Friday, September 16, 2011

What shall I render?

What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord, I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people. Psalm 116:12-14

I have felt compelled to write this post of thanksgiving many times but have put it off and put it off. This morning after reading the above passage, I can put it off no longer. It's not a refined, edited recalling of our recent trip to Judah's laser doctor, but I pray it will bless you nonetheless and honor God as I recount His faithfulness to me and my family:
  • Judah mentioned that he wasn't as scared today as he's been in the past. Thank you for your prayers
  • God gave me the idea to write Judah a note to encourage him and give him scriptures to read. That seemed to really bless him. He took it with him to the appointment and stuck it in his bible for the next visit.
  • In that note, I included Isaiah 41:10 which a friend wrote in her email to me that a.m. Judah also heard that verse on our trip back from Hopkins in the Adventure in Odyssey story he was listening to at the time.
  • God gave me strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other despite my weariness, physically and emotionally.
  • God's grace caused me to look outside myself by cheerfully greeting the admin.staff at Hopkins, our nurse, doctor and students observing the treatment.
  • God also gave me eyes to notice another mom's pain and offer a hug, draw her out and assure her of our prayers.
  • God made me aware that even in the midst of my emotional outbursts toward my children (impatience, anger, selfishness) that God does NOT grow tired or weary. ever. His understanding no one can fathom.
  • I was able to have a conversation w/ Judah in the car about how we don't always understand God's ways, His choices for us...for Judah that is having a PWS and SWS and having to endure laser tx's when no one else in his world does. I was able to share w/ him about my experience with losing my dad to cancer when I was 12 and about his friend, Rudy, who only has one kidney. We don't always see God's goodness and wisdom behind the choices He makes for us, but we trust that He is wise and good in all He does when we remember how He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins.
  • A dear friend watched my other two kiddos while I took Judah to Hopkins and we were able to enjoy sweet, unexpected fellowship when I picked them up.
For this and more, I am grateful to God who is always merciful and gracious.

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple... Psalm 116:5, 6a

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Psalm 63:7, a meditation

...You have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

I am in your shadow-
You cover me,
protect me,
hide me,
see me,
are with me.

I am not on my own,
without coverage,
laid bare.

You are above me; I am below.
You are Creator; I, the created.
You are Great; I am small.
You are consuming; I am consumed.

He who covers me is FOR me, is good, all powerful, THE mighty Conqueror, over all.
He who covers me loves me with an everlasting love, has drawn me with loving kindness.