Pants are hemmed, ironed and laid out along with their white polos and brand new sneakers.
Backpacks are packed with their first pencil boxes filled with scissors, glue, crayons and of course, a brand new pencil.
Snacks are prepared for their mid-morning snack. Judah will have an apple; Tucker, a banana.
Boys are in bed.
Mom is trying to capture every last moment of her babies being pre-schoolers.
Tomorrow, at 8:30 am, one season ends and a new season begins.
I had big plans to make this transition from one season to the next very momentous. We were going to do an "end of summer" trip to Broom's Bloom, our favorite local dairy where they serve the best hand dipped icecream in the county. I thought of a special breakfast such as chocolate chip pancakes or Dunkin Donuts (to have on a Monday would be very special at our house). These were two ideas among others. Somehow, special events always seem to be accompanied by food, and for the Almengor's, it's usually something sweet.
But, we've been hit with a small trial here that required me to re-think my plans. As I mentioned in the post previous to this one, Tucker has been having some issues with his throat, what was being treated as reflux. We have seen a GI specialist, and are waiting to hear back from a scheduler at the hospital for Tucker to have some further testing done. In the meantime, my son is in so much discomfort, and to hear him describe his affliction to me, to see him not be able to eat, disinterested in play, lethargic and constantly distracted by the pain in his throat without being able to do anything to help him has been such a test for me....a test in trusting God, trusting that He hears our prayers for mercy and healing, a test to trust that God is always working ALL things together for my good and the good of all who love Him.
But, I've been given this test before, in fact many times throughout my life. And, to my shame, I have failed this test many, many times. After the first real test of losing my father to brain cancer when I was 12 yrs. old, I spent years wrestling with this issue of God's unfailing goodness to me.
So, now, as a mother of children who seem to have a number of health issues, a context that can often tempt a person to doubt God's kindness, mercy and love for them, I am keenly aware of the opportunity I have been given to help my children grow up with an unshakable confidence in God and in what He says about Himself in His Word. I recognize that when my children get sick, it is not only a trial for me, but for them. Furthermore, it is not only an opportunity for God to work in my life but also to be at work in the hearts of my children as well.
My prayer throughout the last several weeks as I've prayed for my son has been two-fold. One, that God would heal my son's physical ailment. Two, I've been praying that God would give me eyes to see not only what He is wanting to do in my heart but also what He is wanting to establish in my son's heart.
I wish I could take my son's suffering. If I could snap my fingers and make it go away, I would. But, my wisdom is faulty and short sighted. God's wisdom is perfect. And, somehow, in God's perfect wisdom, He has chosen for Tucker to continue to suffer. I want to impart to my son a full confidence not in his or his mommy's wisdom but in God's perfect wisdom. I want to impart to my son a confidence that accompanying God's perfect wisdom is His perfect love and mercy. I pray Tucker will feel better soon. I pray that God will heal him fully or provide means of grace through medication and/or medical intervention of some sort that will bring health to his body once again. But, I also pray that God would sure up in my son's heart at this young age an absolute confidence that God is for him, that God loves him enough not only to heal Tucker's physical body but moreso to send HIS Son to suffer and die on a cross so that Tucker's soul would be made pure and right with God.
Would you pray this way for us as well?
As we embark on a new season here at the Almengor's, we will trust that God has gone before us, will come behind us and has His hand upon us. We will trust that the same measure of love and mercy that God has shown us up until today will follow after us all the days of our lives.
And, I will try very hard not to cry tomorrow as I leave my sons in the very capable care and instruction of their first school teacher, Mrs. Kathleen Weber.