Go Slow, Let it Go, Anticipate

I love mantras, intentions, a focus. Each month, I spend some time going through the prompts provided by my Cultivate Planner and chose a word or a phrase that will serve to guide me intentionally through the month.
I ask God to set words apart for me that will provide a visual reminder of how He wants me to cooperate with His Spirit and His work in my life for that month. 

Obviously, I cannot know what the month ahead will hold, but I can look at my calendar, think about the season of life I am in and decide how to make the most of it all. 

For this December, I chose the phrase, "Go slow, Let it go, Anticipate."

Christmas can be such a time of frenzy. It can come and go so fast that by January 1st, we wonder what just happened. It can also be heavy with expectations that are hard to meet, demands we place on ourselves and others. 

I've spent too many years getting to December 25 and feeling like I wasted a month. I have stood at Christmas Eve service with my candle lit, unable to truly enter in the solemn anticipation of what we are about to receive in recognizing the coming of Christ because I cannot stop obsessively going through the mental checklist of all I wanted to do, had to do, forgot to do, and still need to do. 

So, for several years now, I have sought to approach December differently than I have in the past, intentionally, purposefully.  I want to come to January 1st knowing that I was not whisked through the whirlwind of shopping, decorating, baking, and all the other typical trappings of Christmas and missed the wonder of it all. 

Go slow
I am task oriented by nature and love efficiency, probably to an idolatrous level. Just this morning, I found myself stirring my emergen-c drink while trying to fill my K-cup with coffee grounds at the same time. I mean, I do have two hands.  Might as well make both of them work at the same time?! Ah...this is my default setting. 

And, then I remembered how I actually want to go through my days: walking not sprinting. I want to go slow.
For me, it means

• doing ONE thing at a time
• walking through my house at a reasonable pace (I am known to move rather quickly from task to task)
• not allowing my brain to shift into its default setting of frenetically thinking through all that needs to be done but rather purposing to be fully present with what is right in front of me.

But, guess what happens when I slow down, am fully present and not rushing through my days?  I don't get to everything I want to get to. 

Laundry piles up. 

Floors remain crumby. 

Leaves continue to blanket my yard. 

I miss a lot of deals on stuff we might want to buy for ourselves or others. 

There is not a ubiquitous supply of cookies and fudge in my house throughout December and so on and so on. 

Hence, the second part of my guiding mantra for December, "Let it go."

Let go of my endless expectations to make it all perfect.
Let go of the expectations others may have of me to show up, give the best gift, give a gift at all.
Let go of the expectations the culture around me that tells me there is a specific and comprehensive way to "do Christmas right."  It just ain't so. 

Let go of the fear of letting my kids down.  (Maybe the hardest one for me. Am I right, mommas?)

As I go slow and let it go, it makes room for me to anticipate, and this, for me is what December is really all about. Or, at least for me, this is what I want the month of December to be all about. 

A few ways I anticipate the coming of Christ.

• Choose an advent book or plan to go through by myself and one I go through with my family. This year, I am using a book I found at a used bookstore, a total gamble of a purchase and a departure in style and content from many of the advent books I have used in the past, but one I am excited about nonetheless. It's called, "Simply Wait: Cultivating Stillness in the Season of Advent" by Pamela C. Hawkins.
  
  For my family, I am using a free online study I received in my inbox from Study Gateway. It is a "Case for Christmas" written by Lee Strobel.  This was a timely study for our family this year, so we are jumping in each week watching the videos and spending just a brief time in discussion.
  

A plethora of advent material exists. Do just a quick search on Amazon, and you will find a host of products, books and materials to choose from.

A few of my favorite over the years are:
Ann Voskamp's, "The Greatest Gift."  She has a book for adults and separate ones for you to use with your children. 

Russ Ramsey's "Behold the Lamb of God: An Advent Narrative."

Sally Lloyd Jones's "Jesus Storybook Bible" and advent plan.

When my children were preschoolers, I simply looked up "Free printable advent coloring pages," found something I loved and printed them.  I had the kids color them, and we hung them on a long piece of twine in our basement as a fun visual for them to add up the days to Christ's coming.

• Light it up!  My husband and I are big fans of light: natural light, candlelight, LED light, etc. Christmas is the perfect time of year to confront the ever-darkening days of winter with lights of every kind. We light our Christmas tree, wrap stringed lights around our floor lamp poles, weave lights through our pine garland, and set candles wherever there may be any shadows.
  
  Each morning, I amble down the dark hallway with the glee of knowing I get to turn on all the lights. I used to wait until the evening came, but I am finding this year, I want to enjoy the lights all day long.
  
  I try to pass on the spirit of anticipation and glee by giving special permission to my youngest to light the candles.  Kids love playing with fire, and this builds an atmosphere that something special is happening.

Over the years, there have been other ways I have built anticipation into our daily December rhythms such as putting an empty manger (think shoe box with straw inside) under the Christmas tree. On Christmas morning, "baby Jesus" shows up in the manger (think whatever baby doll I can find lying around the house, usually one that had no clothing on it...which, come to think of it, is probably rather accurate.)  

I have a nativity set with a manger and baby Jesus that is separate. So, I hide that baby Jesus as well; He comes out on Christmas morning to take His place of 'honor.'  

I have visual "cues" around the house to foster a spirit of anticipation such as scrabble pieces that spell out "We Wait" on my kitchen window sill above where I wash dishes daily, the word, "Adore" decoratively hanging from a birch peg log my parents gifted me years ago, nativity sets from all around the world providing the bulk of our Christmas decor in the main living areas of our home, and framed Christmas cards that speak of the Christ to come. 

These are just a few ways I have sought to cultivate a spirit of anticipation in my home. I know many of you could come up with many more and creative ways to do similar. And, I would love to hear about them in the comments. 

If you love the hustle and bustle, and the frenetic pace most people get caught up in this time of year gives you a buzz, then go for it. It's your jam and your way of making the most of this season.  For me, however, I will choose to go slow, let it go and anticipate. 

Make Your Purchases Count

A quick google search will take one to several sites where she can find people and/or companies doing business in a way that leaves the consumer with greater confidence that her purchase is making a positive impact on other humans and/or the environment.

In fact, here is a site with a hefty list of what is known as "fair trade" or "ethical" shopping: 

https://redemptionmarket.com/blogs/news/2018-guide-for-ethical-fair-trade-shopping

I want to provide for you a list of companies that are not on the above list because they may be a little smaller but are nevertheless close to my heart for the products they sell, the people they empower, the ministries they support, and the causes they trumpet.

Consider what they might offer you and yours this Christmas and in turn, how you can make your purchases count.

Jewelry, Accessories, Art, Prints, notecards, journals, T-shirts, apparel (including kids' clothes!), Home Decor (including christmas ornaments!):

1.Noonday Collection

(I have a friend, Amy, who is an ambassador if you'd like me to connect you for your purchase!)

https://www.noondaycollection.com/shop/vida-bracelet,-assorted/ (my birthday gift to myself this year!)

2. Trades of Hope

I have participated with home shows and adore my local compassionate entrepreneur, also named Amy.  :)   The stories behind each product go from heartbreaking to heartwarming because of the impact of Trades of Hope. I'm so grateful for this organization. 

3. The Grace Crafted Home, supported by one of my favorite authors and board members of The Mercy House, Ann Voskamp. 100% of all funds not only empowers artisans around the world, but partners with Mercy House Global to support several homes for young women and their babies in crisis pregnancies in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. 

4. Elora Inspired, faith-based children’s tees, hoodies, and other clothing items. With each order you help us support many kids through Compassion International

5. The Shine Project. Her tagline is "Wear Change. Ignite Hope." Founder, Ashley LeMieux, is a radiating ball of energy and hope. I love her vision to empower teens, encourage women, and connect the two demographics through her business.

6. Better Life Bags founder, Rebecca Smith, is making a better life for a number of women in her local community of Detroit, Michigan, while simultaneously making beautiful, custom made bags that you are bound to love. She also makes stockings (as in the ones hung from the chimney with care), earrings, luggage tags, and prayer card sets specific for adoption, pregnancy, children, and grief. 

7. Be a Well Watered Woman  by investing in the various Bible saturated products sold in their shop from bible studies to memory verse card sets, mugs, T-shirt's, journals, stickers, and jewelry.

8. Grab all the good things at All Good Things Co-owner, Jess Connelly is one of my top five favorite women to follow on instagram. She daily encourages me in my walk and witness of Christ.  Check out the unique art prints, t-shirts, hats, bible study helps, and one of my favorite products, "victory cards" (meant to inspire and equip you to get in daily physical fitness).

9. Ornaments 4 Orphans is a fair trade social enterprise dedicated to providing critical support for orphans and vulnerable children in Africa. I have ordered ornaments for my kids from this company for the last several years, but they also sell jewelry, nativity sets, and stocking stuffers. 

10. It is an effort with which I am most passionate to participate: the resettling and empowering of refugees around the world. I love the work of Preemptive Love, have gifted their soaps and supported their efforts to "love anyway" all around the world. On their site, they provide the opportunity not just to purchase products, but also to gift hope and a future to some of the world's people most in need.

That is my "Top Ten" places to purchase this year; I'd love to hear if you do!

Open House at Montford

We had a delightful open house this past Saturday. The kids, LA's dad and LA all pitched in to help pull things together in our yard and home. My friend, De, shared of her wealth, both in resources and experience to help me bring order and beauty to our day. She gave me the idea for chalk board painting some moving boxes and arranging them around the house for our guests to do self guided tours.  We scoured her barn and garage to come up with our food table, recycle/trash bins, and adirondak chairs scattered throughout our yard.

The morning of our open house, De came with flowers and brownies even though she herself wasn't able to attend! I want to be like De when I "grow up."  She walked my yard, cut some fresh hydrangeas and roses and purposefully placed them around our home. I've learned a lot from her over the years, and I've still got a lot to learn. I was grateful for another opportunity to glean from all her years of extending exemplary hospitality.

LA and I were so grateful to have many friends join us on Saturday, and we're looking forward to many years to come of extending hospitality from this home! Here are a few snapshots from our day: 

"Montford"

The adrenaline I've been running on for the last two weeks, anticipating the closing on our new home which happened today just. ran. out.

A wave of exhaustion has come over me just in time to clean our new place, pack our old place and set up a new home at "Montford".

But, I could not put head to pillow tonight without trying to peck out a few words about how we arrived to this day and this home.

LA and I began a discussion with our realtors more than 5 years ago about moving out of our townhome into a home that could accommodate an in law apartment.  Many possible solutions were discussed, but the time came this past January to shift into high gear and start renovations on our town home with the purpose to sell come early spring.

Our realtors persuaded us to do what we thought was a crazy, crazy thing and that was to put our house on the market before looking for our next home to buy!  What at the time was a crazy philosophy to us proved to be wise advice in the end.

We would now recommend this strategy to anyone wishing to sell one home in order to buy another, especially if you're looking for that "dream" home or one you'd like to live out your days in.

Following our realtors' recommendations for improvements on our town home before placing it on the market brought about immediate interest, many showings and a contract within 10 days of being on the market.  We were thrilled to say the least!

As soon as we hit the market with our town home, we began looking for our "forever" home. Day after day, night after night, I scoured the listings for potential homes to view.  Weekend after weekend and some week days, too, we went out with one of our three (amazing) realtors to see what amounted to 40 homes total!!

About 2/3rds of the way through this process we came upon a home we thought was "it" on "Canterbury Lane."  Doesn't "Canterbury Lane" just sound like a street one would want to live on, almost enchanted?  Well, we were enchanted. Smitten. And, for LA and I both to be in love with the same home is nothing short of a miracle.

One of our realtors, Julie, laughed on more than one occasion as LA and I would walk through homes making exact opposite comments about it. She couldn't get over how opposing our perspectives would be at times.  After 11 years of marriage, I can say we're not surprised by our opposing points of view anymore, but don't find it any easier to deal with now than we did at first.

But, one promise LA and I made to each other at the outset of our home hunt was that we would not settle. We knew that was going to be a tall order, but our hearts were faith filled that God was up for the task.

He did not disappoint.

So back to Canterbury Lane.  This was the first home LA and I both adored and became confident that we wanted to put an offer on it even though it was what I called a bit "wonky."

It met so many of our "non-negotiables." It was at the end of the lane and cul-de-sak. It was a beautiful lot, semi-wooded, flat yard with an over-sized garage with ample room to convert to an in law apartment. BUT, it only had two bedrooms and one full bathroom on the main floor. There were two more bedrooms and another full bathroomin the basement, but because our kids are still young, we wanted all three bedrooms to be on the main level.

And, the house had two front doors. Yes, two front doors. Wonky. No one ever figured that one out. We took a contractor friend out to see the house with us and get his advice on how to configure the main level so as to get a third bedroom out of the space. It appeared doable and feasible for us to do this.

So, we saw the property for a 4th time with our realtor and decided more than confidently that we wanted to put an offer on the house. Long story short, our offer, one of four other offers that all came in on the same weekend after being on the market for a month with no offers previous, was not accepted. We waited two L O N G days to find out that we weren't accepted.

I was sad to say the least. In those two days of waiting, I prayed for my heart's desire. I asked God for the next part of my life to be lived out at Canterbury Lane, and I envisioned specific things for that home.

I mourned a bit, pouted some and took two weeks "off" from looking at homes. One of our realtors, Jess, commented to me later that our little hiatus from house hunting was not typical, and they, our realtor team, were becoming a little nervous that they were going to have to "drag" me back into the search.

But, in that two week time, God provided refreshment and perspective through what some might say the oddest of ways. He was so kind to provide LA and me an opportunity to serve our dear friends, the Neumanns, at the wedding of their daughter, Laura. The wedding was being held on their farm, and God had burdened my hubby's heart long before our house hunt even began to serve them for this momentous occasion in their life.

As the date neared, we wondered if we should have committed an entire Saturday (which actually turned into an entire weekend including the travel to and from my parents in PA where our kiddos stayed so we could serve the day of the wedding) in the midst of trying to find a home.

Well, God goes before us in time as it says in Psalm 139, and we saw His perfect timing for us to have committed to serve this precious family on their important day.

De and Glenn are servants extraordinaire. We have not only been the beneficiaries of their kind, humble and excellent service but have learned so much from watching them serve others. We want "to be like them when we grow up." They are among the hardest workers I know, alongside my own parents, truthfully. And they serve with genuine, exuberant joy. De has made many a hospital trip not just bearable but joy filled for both Judah and me.

When De and Glenn have their hand in any event, one can guarantee it's going to scream of excellence. Their daughter's wedding day was no different than the countless other amazing events they've helped plan and pull off. It was beautiful, stunning, like a fairy tale in many ways. Fresh peony bouquets, candle votives hung on tree limbs, farm tables under a tent, ceremony in the midst of hay field, surprise fireworks and the bride/groom riding off on Glenn's Triumph motorcycle after the sun had well set but sparklers were lighting the way all paled in comparison to one of the most strikingly beautiful parts of the day, and that was the number of De and Glenn's friends and family who came together to make the day happen with such loveliness and flare.

LA and I felt truly honored to play a small, small part in that. It sounds so cliche but it was a heart felt truth for us that day: It truly was better to give than receive. We had a blast. And, through serving our hearts were refreshed.

So, after participating in the loveliness of that day, LA and I shifted into high gear again in search of our home.

At this point, we were about two weeks away from the "deadline" our realtors had given us for finding a home in time so as to not have to move out of our townhome into a rental situation. That deadline was Memorial Day weekend!

So, we put our lists together and went out looking. Nothing the first weekend. We kept scouring the online listings. nothing. or so we thought. On a late Thursday night, likely close to midnight, I was going through the listings again and decided I would look at the pictures of each and every address no matter what.

I came upon "Montford" and looked even though I had passed it up previously, assuming the commute for LA to his office would be too long. When I looked at the pictures, my jaw nearly dropped. It was a beautiful home and property. Motivated, I typed in the address on google maps to see what LA's commute would look like. Without traffic, it would be about what it is now. But, that was without traffic.  Anyone who lives in the Baltimore/DC metro area knows there is no such thing as commuting to and from work "without traffic", not with a 9-5 type job anyway!

Nevertheless, I showed LA the pictures online and the google maps estimation of his potential commute, and he agreed to see it. I quickly shot off the address to my realtor asking her to add it to the list for homes to see over the weekend.

This was Thursday night. The house had just been put on the market the day before, Wednesday. We weren't going to see the home until Saturday. I had a feeling the house was priced to sell, though, and once our realtor, Cindy, saw it, she agreed. She proactively called the seller's agent to let him know that she had clients who were interested in the house and may put an offer on it that weekend.

Thankfully, the sellers were going to wait out the weekend to allow all potential offers to come in. That was Friday of Memorial Day weekend, and apparently there were already three offers on the home!

We didn't get far into the home before our realtor, Cindy, said, "Buy this!" You have to know Cindy to appreciate what I'm going to say about her, especially given the fact that she's a real estate agent. It may be hard to believe, but Cindy just doesn't say that, "Buy this!"  She doesn't. Most of the time. :) She is a gifted real estate agent, very experienced not just in real estate but in life. She is a wise woman who gets to know her clients and advises them individually, according to what she perceives is in line with their needs, wants, skill sets and limitations.

She doesn't tell someone to buy a home unless she really believes the home is a perfect fit for them and is a wise investment overall.  In fact, there were a number of homes I expressed some interest that Cindy "poo poo-ed".  I got over it and forgave her. ;)

Truth be told, Cindy didn't need to tell us to buy the house. We wanted to buy it all on our own with no need of convincing. Whether we COULD buy the house was another story.

You see, with the Canterbury home, we offered what we thought was the top of our price range. And, it was--for that house. I thought it was all we *comfortably* could afford as well, apart from the value of Canterbury. God apparently had something else in mind, however.

We stood in the living room of "Montford", after walking the multitude of pathways throughout the beautifully landscaped and wooded back yard, discussing with Cindy what kind of offer we needed to construct to be chosen among the other 3, possibly more, offers for this home.

Cindy displayed her experience and expertise in constructing our offer. We know that without a doubt and give her kuddos for doing the best job she could do. But, we are also in touch with another reality, one that Cindy subscribes to as well. That reality tells us that while Cindy did an amazing job at putting together a hard to beat offer for us, it was ultimately God who got us this house.

We left not knowing if God would choose this home for us.  This home FAR exceeded the Canterbury Lane home in value, space, amenities, beauty and quality structure. But would this be another disappointment like Canterbury?

We had planned to drive up to my parents in PA early Sunday morning of Memorial Day weekend to spend the rest of the long weekend with my family. I showed my siblings and parents the online pictures of the home, gushed over the possible life this home might grant us in terms of hospitality and ministry, let alone just straight up enjoyment for ourselves. We prayed together and waited.

Our agent told us the sellers would make a decision by Monday, Memorial Day. I was grateful to know that ahead of time, and I was glad we were surrounded by my family so they could be there to either celebrate with us or mourn with us.

I didn't cry until I told my mom and dad. Being able to deliver the good news to my parents in real life, to exchange hugs and see smiles was a sweet gift from God that He just didn't have to give, but did.

After 40 homes, we had found the one that is now ours.

The sellers were wonderfully kind to walk the property with us a few weeks before our settlement. After walking the border of the 4+ acre property with us, explaining all they've done in landscaping and remodeling the home, the wife shared with me that she wanted to see a family in this home. In the end there were 7 (SEVEN) offers for this home, one being a cash offer. But, the cash offer was from an older woman, and the owners really wanted a family to enjoy what they enjoyed with their own three children as they grew up.

This is just a sample of the details which came together providing assurance to LA and me that God truly directed our steps to "Montford".

We are excited to begin this next chapter of our life there, and are eager to have many friends, family and even people we have yet to meet enjoy the gift of this home and property with us.

Gifts

I started thinking tonight about all the gifts I received for Christmas this year. Two of my favorite were given to me by my parents because after all, who really would know more what I'd want or like than the ones who have spent most of my life with me? Here are two of the gifts they gave me that I absolutely adore:

Coasters cut from birch wood

You may not be able to tell from this picture but these are about 2.5 inches tall. Most darling little glass bottles I've ever seen. I love 'em.

My mind then wandered to my favorite intangible gifts of this Christmas...you know, experiences that happen during the season of Christmas. These I treasure in my mind's eye as I can't touch or hold them; things such as an impromptu visit with friends who recently moved back into town, enjoying a nearby neighbor's Christmas lights synced to music, or participating in my brother-in-law's church's "LED light" service Christmas Eve (yes, it was an LED service vs. candlelight; welcome to 2011~).

Gifts. There are the ones we look forward to and delight to open and the ones we will never touch or feel but nevertheless enjoy. But there is a third group of gifts I thought of in my random run of thoughts tonight. It's those gifts that seem to have been overlooked on our wish list, the one or maybe two things we REALLY WANTED. We fight the disappointment we feel when all has been unwrapped except that for which we had dreamed. We battle to be grateful.

Or perhaps it wasn't something you longed to unwrap but rather an experience: a peaceful family gathering, that special someone to have given some indication that he thinks of you and cares for you, or a boss's pat on the back and reassurance that you've had a productive year and are an asset to the team.

Your expectation was not met.

Your longing went unfulfilled

Your wish was not granted.

May I remind you as God reminded me tonight at the end of this random stream of thoughts of something He says to those who have longings unfulfilled and wishes not granted?

Psalm 84:11b says, "no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

and what about

Luke 11:13, "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

You say you have asked. But, for what are you asking? When God says He doesn't withhold any good thing from you, He doesn't mean that "puppy in the window." Rather, He intends and will give us every good thing we need for life and godliness. He will give us His Holy Spirit through which we can receive all else He gives and withholds with peace and gratitude, with contentment and joy.

And sometimes, many times I've known God to mercifully give us that "puppy in the window", too.