Wednesday, May 14, 2008

25 Things To Know About Little Boys

*This is most funny when read late at night with a glass of wine!

1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up in the air a few times, before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old boy.

11. Playdoh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a five-minute response time .

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Thankfully, my boys haven't tried any of these...YET. The closest we've come is when Tucker decided pennies might taste good and swallowed one. My guys aren't the "dare-devil" type, but they have friends who are and easily egg them on. So, I know my day is coming.

What would #26 be on your list of Things To Know About Little Boys?
*This was not originally written by me. I don't know its original source, however, to give credit.


dlbmrb said...

26. Twizzers stuck in an electrical outlet can knock the power out of a whole apartment building...

27. Matchbox wheels do not belong in the nasal cavity...serious infection follows.

28. Swinging your brother by his ankles and letting go results in blood loss

29. Throwing rocks at the house when angry at mom results in broken windows and a lot of time in room

30. Having boys no matter what they do...priceless!!!

krista said...

Oh, so funny!
Undoubtedly, my husband WOULD try the chemistry experiment!

26. Pussywillow "fuzzballs" do not belong in ears! (I know this courtesy of my younger brother!)