Tuesday, October 30, 2012

"What Did You Expect"

My husband and I had the enormous blessing of being able to attend a marriage conference this past weekend hosted by Sovereign GraceChurch, Cherry Hill.  The speaker was Paul Tripp, and if you have not heard him speak or read anything he has written, you need to stop reading this post now and go to Amazon to order ANYTHING that he’s authored. I promise you no matter where you are in life, it will meet you in some way. Paul Tripp is a profound biblical author and speaker and has been used by God throughout the varying seasons and circumstances of my life to point me again to God’s truth, the wisdom of His ways and the goodness of His heart.

Anyone who knows me just a little bit probably knows that I don’t consider my marriage to be an easy one. It’s okay; my husband knows I feel this way. He feels that way, too. J  We’re both in it for the long haul. We love Jesus; we love each other. I would say that we’re incredibly different and that those differences are the cause of our frequent and heated conflicts, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.  We’re actually incredibly alike in the ways sin ensnares us, I think. We often say the most arrogant man on earth was attracted to and married the most arrogant woman on earth and boy, do the sparks fly!  The latter explanation likely gets a lot closer to pinpointing why Lawrence and I endure so much conflict in our marriage to one another.

Over the next week or two (or however long it takes me to actually write these posts), I thought I would share some of the key points I noted from the marriage conference in hopes that I would come a little closer to actually applying and God willing, gaining some traction toward a more God glorifying relationship with my husband.

I decided to do this publicly on my blog for two reasons: 1. Writing these posts will be a form of accountability for me to review my notes from the marriage conference which is one step closer in applying them. 2. I am hoping anyone who reads this will pray for me and our marriage (yes, this is a shameless plea for prayer…I’m pretty comfortable with asking for prayer!)

One inadvertent effect, I hope, from writing these posts will be that some of you who read may be encouraged and challenged in your marriages or other relationships because truth be told, so much of what I will share from the conference is applicable in a variety of relationships, not just marriage.

So, first post’s big idea is this:
“The character of marriage is set by the little moments.  The little moments matter because that’s where we live and that’s where God is.”

For me that means I pay attention to what many would call my “bickering” with Lawrence over just about anything and everything. We seem to find ourselves arguing at times about what most others would probably overlook or not even notice in the first place, like how to fold a blanket. True story.

It means putting down my dinner preparations to greet him warmly when he gets home from work with a hug and/or kiss.

It means not rolling my eyes when he flirts with me.

Many times, it means just thinking before I speak rather than reacting with words and a tone I often regret.

What might it mean for you to pay attention to the little moments?

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