These are the appointments that it becomes clear we must hope and trust in God and not in man. When Judah responds so negatively to an exam, I can begin to question our decisions to subject him to such rigorous medical care. After Wednesday's exam or lack thereof, I cried out to God for wisdom; that's what I thought I needed. Judah has a docket full of dr's. appointments for the next couple of weeks, and I began to question my judgement in scheduling all of them so close together.
I asked for my caregroup to also be praying for me to have wisdom re: how closely and which dr's. appointments to schedule for Judah. As I relayed the specifics, one couple chimed in with some very helpful and encouraging input. After pondering what they shared, I realized wisdom was not the issue, but strength and a renewed sense of self-denial and trust in God. Judah needs to be seen by these doctors; they are a means of grace to us. I needed to be reminded afresh that we are taking him through the rigors of all these specialists and tests because we believe that is for his best. I didn't realize that what I needed was not mostly wisdom, but fortitude and perseverance.
How quickly I can grow weary of doing good, especially when doing good is so hard and confronts my comfort and sensibilities. Through this gracious lot God has assigned to us and to Judah, we are all learning and going to continue to learn that while our heart and flesh may fail, God is the strength of our hearts and our portion forever.
I'm posting on a Friday because Monday we will be at another appointment.
Judah participates in a study that his neurologist, Dr. Comi, has been doing for over a year. For this study, Judah receives EEG's every three months. I don't imagine he'll be any more cooperative as this test requires a bunch of electrodes to be pasted to his head. Ideally, he'll be in a restful state for the best test results. That would indeed be an act of God and nothing less at this stage in his development.
He will also see his neurologist and have a brief evaluation by her. My hope is that his head size will be acceptable and not cause for alarm.
So, overall, please pray that:
- Judah will cooperate for the EEG.
- Judah's head size will be within his growth curve.
- God will provide sustaining grace for all of us through these next couple weeks, full of doctor's appointments.
- God will give me wisdom to know how to specifically shepherd Judah and Tucker's hearts even at their young age.
Not to be taken for granted, but a constant reason for praise, Judah remains seizure/stroke free! Thank you, Lord!