I learned at last night's OB appointment that the due date they have for me is not until tomorrow, Feb. 8th. So, here's the new ticker:
While that might seem like it should help my psyche in this waiting game, it hasn't. In fact, last night's appointment particularly discouraged me as the baby's head is not close to being engaged, nor is my cervix doing squat. Now, logically, I know all that can change in a very short amount of time. But, today I'm not wanting to be all that logical. I'm a bit tired of wrestling with my emotions over the arrival of this little one and all the factors that play into that. I would like to forget I'm pregnant for a little while, but that's a bit difficult to do with my daily increasing weight and waist line.
My midwife's best suggestion was to try to forget about the due date and immerse myself in some activity. The one I would like to immerse myself in today is self pity. Not to sound too boastful, but I'm pretty good at this activity.
There's a beautiful coat of snow on the ground this morning, but we will most likely opt to stay inside. The boys can really have a hard time with asthma, and I'm fearful of the cold air precipitating an attack. Plus, the last time we had to walk outside on snow, Judah freaked out for some reason, not liking the feel of it beneath his feet. (Sometimes my geniuses are also a bit odd, but I guess geniuses are known to be odd, aren't they?) :)
That leaves us rather cooped up for several days now. You all know how cabin fever can really mess with one's mind, let alone one who is 9 months pregnant. Have I won the award for today's biggest whiner yet?
Feel no need to encourage me with your words, but your prayers would be much appreciated. I'm not even going to ask for you to pray that the baby comes any day in particular. I'm hanging up those prayers. I just would like to get through the day without complaining my way through it. I know I need a change of perspective and a change of attitude. I'm trusting God to be faithful once again.