Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Perpetual State of Ugliness

Ever feel like you live in or as a perpetual state of ugliness? If it's not toys scattered all over your house, it's the lawn that hasn't been mowed for weeks. If it's not 3 year olds screaming, "no" right at your face, it's YOU screaming, "no" to your hubby. (Not all ugliness is outward afterall.) If it's not spit up running down your shirt, it's simply that your shirt doesn't match your pants, and you walked out of the house not even noticing. If somehow you managed to get your hair done before you walked out the door, you certainly didn't get makeup on as well. And, the rare occasion, if it happens at all, that you walk out the door feeling like you look like a million bucks, I'm sure a bird will poop in your hair or something.

So, today I get to go to TWO different doctor's appointments...for what you ask? WARTS. Isn't that lovely? I hate warts. Specifically, I hate warts on my body. I've had one on my foot since before the boys were born...yes, that would be years now! And, right before Bella was born, one showed up on my thumb. I've already had it frozen once; it didn't go away. Today, I get to subject myself to that minor form of torture again as well as get a shot in the bottom of my foot, yet one more attempt to rid myself of this disgusting thing!

I'm not really sure why I'm going through with these painful procedures to get rid of these ugly, pesky little things especially when/if these things ever go away, there will just be the next thing on my list of things to do in order to rid myself of this perpetual state of ugliness. :)


FishMama said...

We had a nextdoor neighbor from Texas back when I was in elementary school. She only had boys, so when she wanted her big hair/nail polish fix, she came to our house to watch my mom get us three girls ready. Fayrene (yes, and you must say her name with a drawl) had a favorite line when my mom would be yanking the hair brush through my snarling tresses.

Y'all just have to suffer to be beautiful.

That is true, whether it is physical beauty we are cultivating or the inward beauty that comes from dying to self and not yelling NO, even silently, (loved that line) at our husbands. :)

I hear ya, sistah! Right there with ya.

jessi said...

I used to get a wart on my index finger when I was pregnant...it was the only time it would re-appear. I just started referring to it as my pregnancy wart. One time a little while after Luke was born that spot on my finger started feeling tender and I almost flipped. Thankfully, it was a 'false alarm' - the wart never developed and neither did anything else! :)

robin said...


I haven't talked to you in like 7 or 8 years, but I have occasionally been on your blog and and am so refreshed to read your thoughts -- serious and humorous ones. I am identifying with your potty training scenario b/c my oldest did not potty train until he was ---- four!! I hate to say that, but he was just outright stubborn. I tried the summer he turned two and soon decided to let him go at his own pace. A year later he really wasn't about to budge when his twin brothers were born -- he regressed in everyway possible -- a terrible 6 months or so of adjusting to beign dethroned by two babies. So, like your are experiencing right now, I had 3 in diapers for a year. One week before he turned 4 I felt like I had sort of enough energy to deal with him over the issue and I announced 'this is your last pkg of diapers". He tested me for about 10 days after his diapers were gone. I held my ground (and assisted him in cleaning lots of messes, sticker charts,etc). Then it was done!

Now I am thinking about how much money we could save if my two year olds, Jack and Drew, were out of diapers. I am so terrified of doing two at once! But, I know from previous experience, I cannot make them do it until THEY are ready! And I am sure they are not.

Well, my original reason was to repond to "perpetual state of ugliness". I was jut complaining in my heart this weekend of being tired of never being showered, having horrible hair (even if I did manageto wash it - no time to style or get a regular haircut), having an upsidedown house (with loads of unfolded laundry) and having a pretty sad wardrobe -- no time to shop and all our money goes to diapers! My winter shoes are the same ones I bought the first year Luke was born - so this will be my 6th winter in them unless I can find a replacement (magazine and online shopping don't work -- I returned 3 pair of shoes in the past 7 months.

Oh, and my ugly heart, that's too much to type!

In the grand scheme of life, my reasons for complaining are silly. This season with 3 young kids is valuable and part of dying to self is having no time for self I guess??

I have no warts (no literal ones), but other minor skin conditions that drive me nuts! Your wart scenario is funny.

Luke developed a wart last year. His doctoer told me I could suffocate the wart with duct tape for a week -- never letting it come up for air, but just keep heaping on the tape, if i recall correctly. I opted for a drug store remedy. I put some type of "wart be gone" pad and medicine on one of Luke's finger over the period of a month. Everytime I replaced it with a new pad, I thought it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen.

Anyway, you have always been beautiful to me -- heart and
outside appearance -- well, i am turning in for some needed beauty rest. love your long ago friend robin PS - I was reading through some old memorabilia a few months ago and came across some letters you wrote to me while I was in china. They were fun and familiar to read. Maybe I'll send them to you sometime so you can remember a snap shot of your life from 10 years ago -- they were very Bri-ish and like 10 pages long front and back -- so I don't feel so bad for writing an eternal response~